Category Archives: Uncategorized

I learned every angle of darkness. So when light came, I knew its value.

There’s a kind of learning you don’t get from school.

No teacher. No test.

Just life putting you in situations and watching what you do.

I learned every angle of darkness. So when light came, I knew its value.

And I mean real darkness.

Not the kind people talk about just to sound deep.

I’m talking about the kind that shows you how people really are.

It shows you who switches up.

Who only shows love when it benefits them.

Who disappears when things get heavy.

That kind of darkness will either break you…

or it will build something solid in you.

For me, it made me pay attention.

I started noticing patterns.

How people move.

How they talk.

How they treat others when they think it doesn’t matter.

I stopped reacting to everything.

I stopped explaining myself all the time.

I stopped giving energy to things that didn’t deserve it.

That was growth. Real growth.

Not loud. Not flashy.

Just quiet discipline.

And somewhere along the way, I changed.

I didn’t need validation like before.

Didn’t need to prove myself to everyone.

I just moved different.

So when light finally came into my life…

peace… real peace…

I didn’t get confused by it.

I recognized it.

Because I had already seen everything it was not.

Light isn’t just about feeling good.

It’s about clarity.

It’s about alignment.

It’s about things making sense without forcing it.

And here’s the truth a lot of people won’t say:

If you’ve never really experienced darkness,

you won’t truly appreciate light.

You might question it.

You might even push it away without realizing it.

But when you’ve been through enough…

you don’t play with peace when it shows up.

You protect it.

You respect it.

You move with intention around it.

So no… I don’t regret what I went through.

That darkness gave me awareness.

It gave me discernment.

And now when something real comes into my life…

I don’t hesitate.

I know exactly what I’m looking at.

Energy transferred

Among the archives sent with me on this mission was a paper/essay on energy transference. The paper stated that when a mother dies her energy is transferred to what she loved the most. Unclear of how that works with a mother who had several children before their passing. As I read this paper I felt like there was some sort of truth to it.

Believe me or not ; I really don’t care.

Maybe a month or two after my mother passed I found myself laying in bed , half asleep. I felt something reach out to me. When whatever it was grabbed a hold of me I felt as something was charging me. Maybe the better term is downloading to me.

At first I thought this was another sleep paralysis episode. Usually after one of those I’m drained of my energy. Not this time. I wasn’t wired or drained.

I was merely just ok.

Moving forward I started seeing the world different.

I believe a lot of that came from no longer having my buffer to the world by my side anymore. I had to deal with all of these things and people head on.

Almost as if I was being battle tested.

A lot of those battles I lost.

But like the phoenix that rose from the ashes those defeats just made me stronger.

I don’t know why I am writing this. Just a thought I had on my mind.

Better out than in.

-TC

2/13 6 years deep.

During Covid I did a lot of YouTube watching. Don’t know if I’m technically right or wrong with this but during that time I watched a lot of stuff on autism. From what I processed was the bond between a parent and an autistic child is incredible. I’m guessing because what I interpreted was that this child lived in their own world and it was the parent was the only one that could get through to them.

When they raged out- it was the parent to calm them down. When they didn’t get what they wanted – it was the parent that explained it to them. No counselor no sibling; nothing. of that one parent , rather trusted person, wasn’t there to explain the situation- you had no luck getting through to them.

As I creep up on to the six year anniversary of my momma going to be with the ancestors I just look how our relationship was almost that of an autistic child and their parent .

When people would call – I would call momma and say “momma what these crazy people want?” Then she would either fill me in on the latest gossip or we would joke about how crazy the people are.

Then let’s say some drama was really getting good we would meet up for drinks and dinner. Most of the time it was just drinks. Say what you want strawberry margaritas are still my favorite. Outside of old Fashions.

I could go on forever about the lessons , the tough love, the extra love, the warnings, and the rules she gave me growing up.

Honestly I don’t even know why the fuck I’m writing this. I guess I didn’t want this to be rolling around in my head.

But momma if there is a computer up in paradise…

I hope you’re able to read this and know that I miss you more and more everyday…

Especially when these people act stupid. They are a bunch of no common sense having ass mafuckas! I swear momma!

Ps: if you can read this- pretty please find Charles Lee and let him know two more years -Maybe three – I’ll have WM at the end of my name!

PSs: Let grandpa know… I’m just like him! lol.

Love,

Pumpkin Head.

Joe Budden and Shannon Sharp

I’ve been a fan of Joe Budden since I first heard Mood Music 3.

Joe has been an advocate for mental health, through his music. As well as being upfront on loss and bad relationships.

This interview with him and Shannon Sharp is a master class of what therapy and being self aware of oneself can look like. None of use are perfect.

This also proves that anything you want to be successful at is going to be a marathon. You have to run these laps, S/O to Nipsey Hussle, to get to the other side of the (pause) rainbow.

100 Hard Truths

Hard Truths About Life is a collection of unflinching wisdom from voices that shaped history. Philosophers, writers, poets, revolutionaries, and survivors speak across centuries with clarity earned through struggle, loss, power, and consequence.

Each page offers a single truth. No commentary. No explanation. Just language that has endured because it names what people try to avoid. Time. Choice. Suffering. Love. Responsibility. Freedom. The cost of being awake.

This book is meant to live in shared spaces. Picked up at random. Read slowly. Put down thoughtfully. It does not tell you what to believe. It asks you to sit with what is already true.

A quiet companion for long nights, hard conversations, and moments of reflection. Not motivational. Not comforting. Honest.

Some pages will feel like confirmation. Others like confrontation. Both are intentional.

This is not a book you finish.

It is a book you return to.

https://a.co/d/0gKlFkh9

https://a.co/d/09SKyFaq